Looking for Natara
by Miles Above My Head
Summary: Before. Mal Fallon is taken with the gorgeous, clever, funny, and utterly fascinating Natara Williams. She captures his attention and steals his heart. After. And nothing is ever the same.
1. 365 days

__**Not a one shot. Based partially on the novel Looking for Alaska by John Green.**

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><p><em>In everyone's life, there is a true-love snapshot moment forever engraved in their mind until they die. His was of her. She was perfect: beautiful, smart, funny, charismatic, and charming. She was the type of person you'd fall in love with even if she was your enemy. Even if it was forbidden. She was truly his "classic Juliet."<em>

**365 days.**

From the moment he met her, Mal Fallon knew she was the girl he wanted to marry. He knew he was deeply and irrevocably in love with her. It wasn't hard to fall in love with someone like her. The first words she'd spoken to him were funny, sarcastic, and lovable all at once. They'd met nearly a year ago, and he'd cherished every single day since then.

_At some point in your life, you'll meet that one person you trust wholeheartedly the second you lay eyes on them. You'll meet the one person you never doubt that you love. Never let them go._

It was just another day, filled with work, responsibility, and goals to others, but to him it was more, much more. It was the day he planned to ask her out.

He walked into the SFPD precinct, slightly less confident than usual, and immediately saw her over by the water cooler; talking to a black-haired lawyer he knew to be Oscar Santos. It was peculiar, the way his eyes always were attracted to her. They could pick her out of a dense crowd within seconds of entering the scene. She just stood out to him: her shoulder-length brown hair, her sparkling green eyes speckled greatly with brown, the way her lips always tilted slightly upward in the right corner like she was dying to smile even when it wasn't appropriate, the way her eyebrows creased often because she was in deep thought. He had kept track of his beautiful brunette partner diligently. That's what you do when you're in love.

It must've been the moment she noticed him and walked away from the black-haired lawyer, who was smirking triumphantly. That was the beginning. When she ran up to him grinning ear-to-ear and threw her arms around his neck. He figured she was finally getting over her ex-boyfriend, Agent Shawn Mallory's death. That is, until she whispered excitedly in his ear.

_The lawyer, Oscar Santos, just asked me out!_

It must've been that moment that his heart felt like it was weighed down by a thousand boulders. The moment he lost his true love. He felt like he was collapsing, but since he was supporting her weight as well, he stayed on his feet. He wouldn't let her fall. He wouldn't drag her down.

Ever.


	2. 320 days

**320 days.**

He was fascinated with her. She was an enigma he couldn't figure out; possibly she hadn't even realized her true value yet. She was forever mysterious, not confiding in him nor anyone.

One day, he asked her why she enjoyed being so mysterious instead of opening up to anyone.

"Mal, people are like books," she'd answered thoughtfully. "You need to read them to understand them, and even when you do, there are still questions that keep you up at night. Maybe I'm just the boring history textbook you haven't completely finished reading yet because it's an activity you aren't looking forward to doing."

"I'd like to understand you better," he told her.

She smirked and looked up at him, "Then finish reading."

It was moments like these that he cherished. When Natara was off in her thoughtful world of wisdom and he had the pleasure of being there with her. Those were the moments she opened up most to him; the moments he felt slightly closer to putting together the pieces of the puzzle that were Natara, even if these pieces were given to him in ways as mysterious as the person that told them.

She liked to read. After being sent to work on the Maskmaker case in San Francisco, she had acquired a hotel room. However, seeing it would take more time than planned, she rented a small house near the precinct. He'd been to it. She had the largest room – intended to serve as a living room – filled with books. Not just filled with books though; the walls were lined floor to ceiling with bookshelves. There was not an empty space visible on any one of those shelves either. Once she had left the room and he had been abandoned there, to wait for her to return. He began reading the spines of the books. Most were biographies. He plucked up the courage and took one off the shelf. There wasn't a page in it that didn't have an underlined portion with a note scribbled in her slanted cursive writing. One statement troubled him the most. She had underlined a sentence which was a quote from Simon Bolivar, his last words in fact.

"_How will I ever get out of this labyrinth!"_

That wasn't what troubled him however. What troubled him was the scribble next to it. In her perfect handwriting, she had written

_Straight and fast._

He stared down at it and then took the book and slipped it in his bag, unnoticed. She reentered the room and he smiled, engaging once again in conversation. But all throughout, only three words ran through his mind.

_Straight and fast._


	3. 293 days

**293 days.**

_So Mal, are you dating anyone?_

Why couldn't he answer such a simple question? Probably embarrassment, but he convinced himself it was pride. With Oscar standing right there, to be honest, he just didn't want to admit he wasn't. She would ask why, and the reason was that he was waiting for her. But he couldn't say that. Not here; not now. So he just stood here stupidly, mouth open ready to speak, grasping for words that wouldn't come. Finally he just mumbled unintelligibly:

"No, I'm not."

He remained there in the resulting awkward silence until Oscar whispered something to Natara about having to go, snaked his arm around her waist, and kissed her on the cheek before walking away. Mal stood there dumbfounded, watching Natara blush happily.

He shouldn't be jealous; she didn't know he liked her so it wasn't like she was choosing Oscar over him, and yet he felt inexplicably rejected. Even so, his anger must have shown as Natara asked him what the matter was. He tried to shrug the question off and stage a dramatic exit, worthy of Oscar's romantic one, but failed miserably considering she followed him when he turned away.

"Mal Fallon," she called to him, speeding up a bit to reach him and grabbing his bicep in a restraining manner. "What is your problem?"

"Nothing; why would anything be wrong?" Mal answered. "I'm happy as a clam."

"Malachi Charles Fallon," she stopped walking and he mimicked her as she proceeded to smirk playfully. "Are you, dare I ask, _jealous_?"

_Jealous? Jealous? JEALOUS? Jealous. J e a l o u s. She. Thinks. I'm. Jealous. _His fists clenched and he had the rare desire to punch something. Hard. _Hold it in. Play it off as a joke. Keep cool._

"Jealous?" He forced a smile at her and laughed cruelly. "Only in your dreams, Nat."

And with that statement born of pure rage, he stormed off, just missing the tears that began to cascade down Natara's face, glistening along her cheeks, and dying on her lips. Just missing the way her gleeful face fell dramatically; just missing the pain evidently slashing across her gorgeous face, hurt incredibly by the fact that he did indeed love her in her dreams. And she loved him too.

But that was all okay with him, because she didn't follow him, and so she missed him running down the nearest alley. She missed him punching the brick building wall with his bare fist and crumpling in pain. She missed him waking up hours later from unconsciousness, realizing his hand was broken, and walking to the hospital. Alone.


End file.
